Bulls: They’re like cows, …
Bulls: They’re like cows, you just have to work harder to get their milk out.
Continue ReadingBulls: They’re like cows, you just have to work harder to get their milk out.
Continue ReadingWhats the diffrence between panda’s and ginger? We’re trying to stop the panda’s dying out.
Continue ReadingI struck lucky in the casino last night.. Apparently that’s ‘animal cruelty’ according to Geoff from security
Continue ReadingResearchers at Bristol University say a breed of blood-sucking ticks has been discovered in the UK. Wait a minute, blood-sucking leeches appearing near the start of April? That’s just Inland Revenue!
Continue ReadingMy dog is my best friend. How sad does that make my social life?
Continue ReadingI’ve just bought a load of giant African land snails. I don’t want to breed them or anything, I just want to dot them round the garden so the resident hedgehogs think they’re in the middle of a wonderful dream.
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference between me and a horse? About 10 inches.
Continue ReadingWhy did the Gallus gallus domesticus traverse the roadway? Because the agricultural overseer had not correctly maintained his fowl coop perimeter, taking the necessary precautions to avoid a potential escape of his stock which, accompanying the financial inconvenience, could in fact pose a threat to the motor vehicles upon the nearby roadway; also risking the […]
Continue ReadingI’ve got a bird that can predict the future. It’s an omen pigeon.
Continue ReadingMy wife told me to have the house spotless before she got home. So I buried her dog Spot in the back garden.
Continue ReadingWhat do Elephants have for their dinner? An hour, just like the rest of the animals.
Continue ReadingMy dog does great impressions of Third World children. He’s dead.
Continue ReadingLast night I Tweeted asking if anyone was free to go out. Then my wife told me to stop trying to talk to birds, and to act my age.
Continue ReadingI remember years ago, Waking up really early on christmas day, Running down stairs, Ripping open one of my presents… But unfortunately it was a puppy.
Continue ReadingDogs Trust: Dogs die in hot cars. In other unrelated news, I have sent my wife on a cross desert trip to Tesco.
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