Category: animals/insects

“Dad where’s the cat?” “Eat your soup darling”

Went to London zoo the otherday. They were no apes there, weird.

Sharks in the Mediterranean have ravished on food today and are said to be ecstatic at the arrival of 90 toothpicks to help them keep their teeth in good shape.

What has fifty legs and can’t walk? Half a centipede.

I dropped my pet snail in the toilet by accident earlier but he’s making a slow recovery.

Why did the walrus go to the tupperware party? To look for a tight seal.

My landlord blames me for allowing a mouse infestation but I’ve been allowed to stay after promising to sort the problem out. I hope mice are as scared of rats as I think they will be.

My friends planning on teaching all crabs a new unique way to walk now that would be a step forward.

BBC News – Whale song spreads across ocean In other news – Adele goes on a cruise

After 5 long years working at the zoo taking care of the koalas I finally applied for promotion to look after the elephants. Sadly though, I didn’t the job. Apparently my koalifications were irrelephant for the job.

Pigeon: “Do you think I should say ‘coo, coo, coo?’” Sparrow: “It’s your call.”

Giraffes sleep for up to 4 hours a day. I think they find it hard to get their heads down

We surveyed 100 cats! We asked them if they preferred kitykat or paws catfood! Results show that 100% of cats surveyed can’t understand or speak English!

My cat has a lot in common with third world children. He’s dead

I don’t know why the kids and wife were so upset. I though naming our new dog ‘Emergency Food Supply’ was very appropriate.