My Grandad’s very intelligent, but he still ‘talks in riddles’. Yesterday he said, “Where there are visible vapors having their prevalence in ignited carbonaceous material, there is conflagration.” I didn’t have a clue what he was on about, but I thought “There’s no smoke without fire.”
Continue ReadingI’ve got an amazing anti-theft device on my car. A Volvo badge.
Continue Readingi make a tidy profit selling cleaning products
Continue ReadingI read in a newspaper Sickipedia was only ‘Black Humour’. But how wrong could they be, it’s full of Jade Goody Humour as well.
Continue ReadingI don’t know who this ‘Jim’ character is, or what he’s done to offend everyone. All my muscular friends keep ringing me up saying that they’re going to hit him.
Continue ReadingMy wireless internet recently got kidnapped We had a strong connection but I have no lead to go on
Continue ReadingGot the results of my blood test today. Not bad, I got an A.
Continue ReadingI met a black man today. He said to me his name was Martin Luther King. ‘Really’? I asked ‘No I’m only Joe King’
Continue ReadingWhy did the queer cross the road? To get to the other backside.
Continue ReadingA question in a maths exam. Q: Mark and mary are both surveying a set population of 1000 people to find their favourite colours. Mark surveys 100 people while mary surveys 50. Mark claims that his results are more reliable then Mary’s. Why is this? A: Because mark is a man.
Continue ReadingIt seems like perpendicular lines find love the easiest. They’re always just right for each other.
Continue ReadingThe planking epidemic is getting out of hand. The old lady next door has been laying outside for 3 days…
Continue ReadingI have a friend called Emma Roids, its quite ironic how she died actually Her smoke alarm blew up and burnt her house down
Continue ReadingA door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Continue ReadingMy mum gave birth to me by C-section so my father could see me before leaving for the Falklands. People always say I was cut out for the military.
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