I have one of those ‘Anti …
I have one of those ‘Anti Bullying’ wrist bands … … I stole it from a fat ginger kid!
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Teacher: “Simon, can you …
Teacher: “Simon, can you say your name backwards?” Simon: “No Mis”
Continue ReadingQuick pole: North or Sout …
Quick pole: North or South?
Continue ReadingThe Grim Reaper will neve …
The Grim Reaper will never take me alive.
Continue Reading“Save a little money each …
“Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you’ll be surprised at how little you have”.
Continue ReadingNot looking forward to th …
Not looking forward to the next Spiderman film, apparently he’s gone vegan and only fights animal cruelty. Changed his name to PETA Parker.
Continue ReadingBBC News: ‘Arrest after h …
BBC News: ‘Arrest after hospital abuse film.’ To be fair, you’d be tired too if you’d been bullying spastics all day.
Continue ReadingIt’s a good job Apple isn …
It’s a good job Apple isn’t in charge of New Year. We’d all be expecting 2012 and get 2011S instead.
Continue ReadingI couldn’t quite remember …
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
Continue ReadingJust thought of a great o …
Just thought of a great owl joke, but I can’t use it until 2/8/20.
Continue ReadingSome people in Africa wal …
Some people in Africa walk eight miles every day, just to get away from Lenny Henry.
Continue ReadingI had a problem with my i …
I had a problem with my internet connection this morning. I phoned BT and spoke to a guy called Sanjay who was based in India. He said, “There does seem to be a problem, One of our engineers will be with you on Monday”. I said, “Okay, but I’m not paying for his flight”.
Continue ReadingTook a trip out to Africa …
Took a trip out to Africa to check out the wildlife. I saw some jaguars, rams, cobras, vipers and beetles. I thought Africa was poor, how come they can afford such flash cars?
Continue ReadingJust shared a banana with …
Just shared a banana with my dad. He had the inside bit again.
Continue ReadingI used to go out with a b …
I used to go out with a baker. I had to dump her in the end though. She was too kneedy.
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