Every once in a while I s …
Every once in a while I stop and think, “I know you can read my thoughts.” Just in case.
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New chocolate weetabix… …
New chocolate weetabix…Finally a cereal that looks the same going out, as it did going in.
Continue ReadingI regularly drive to the …
I regularly drive to the pub, but am never guilty of drink driving. The secret is to consume so much alcohol that by closing time you have completely forgotten ever owning a car.
Continue ReadingWhat do you get when you …
What do you get when you cross a scanner with a barcode? Beep.
Continue ReadingI’ve just climbed to the …
I’ve just climbed to the top of a mountain, It gave me summit to do.
Continue ReadingDog walkers are definitel …
Dog walkers are definitely a jinx. Whenever a dead body is found, there’s always one nearby.
Continue ReadingAs a cost-cutting measure …
As a cost-cutting measure, the local council has closed its housing benefits call centre and opened a walk-in office inside Lidl.
Continue ReadingMy mate just said to me, …
My mate just said to me, “If you became invisible, what would you do first?” I said, “I’d go to Paris, find a performing street mime and beat him to death; the round of applause he’d get would be astounding.”
Continue ReadingI’ve just come back from …
I’ve just come back from the corner shop. I bought four corners.
Continue ReadingI’ve never wanted to be a …
I’ve never wanted to be a writer, but after meeting The Godfather I think that will change. He said he’s gonna make me an Author, I can’t refuse.
Continue ReadingAlthough I am a fan of al …
Although I am a fan of all the Thomas ‘Mueller Corner’ jokes there have been on here I can’t help but feel international football’s comentary wordplay reached its zenith at Euro 96 in the days of Seaman coming out to smother Kuntz
Continue ReadingIronically, The Dog Inn p …
Ironically, The Dog Inn pub has a really small car park.
Continue ReadingI keep having dreams abou …
I keep having dreams about raisins and sultanas. It’s recurrent.
Continue ReadingWhen getting my lunch fro …
When getting my lunch from Greggs, I always prefer a vegetarian option containing no meat. The steak bake usually does it.
Continue ReadingMichael Laudrup is set to …
Michael Laudrup is set to be named new Swansea boss. I don’t know why he’s changing his name and to something as stupid as that.
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