I’ve invented a revolutio …
I’ve invented a revolutionary new facebook craze – lying down in awkward places whilst emitting radiation not continuously, but in quanta. I call it plancking.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I met a Dutchman yesterda …
I met a Dutchman yesterday with sat-nav shoes. He never ever gets lost. Clever clogs.
Continue ReadingSometimes when I post a j …
Sometimes when I post a joke I can’t help but laugh.I know pretty well Royal Mail will never have it delivered in time.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call that sch …
What do you call that schizophrenic woman down the street? Jaqueline Hyde.
Continue ReadingBeing mute is nothing to …
Being mute is nothing to shout about.
Continue ReadingWhere did house spiders l …
Where did house spiders live thousands of years ago?
Continue ReadingMy wife just told me we’r …
My wife just told me we’re having burgers for tea tomorrow. I’m relishing it.
Continue ReadingOne of those clips of ill …
One of those clips of ill african children just came on Comin Relief. My wife thought i was being all sensative when I reached for a box of tissues. Well she couldn’t of been more wrong.
Continue ReadingThey say you should never …
They say you should never go to sleep on an empty stomach. After last night, I agree. A bed is a lot comfier.
Continue ReadingMy hearing aid has just b …
My hearing aid has just broke…if anyone has a spare one give me a shout !!!
Continue ReadingI was in the pub last nig …
I was in the pub last night and some bloke stole my drink off the bar. I just pretended not to notice. One of my mates told me I’d lost my bottle.
Continue ReadingSeems like it’s Crimewatc …
Seems like it’s Crimewatch time, favourite part of my night! Although my wife seems scared of living in Liverpool.
Continue ReadingI’m currently in hospital …
I’m currently in hospital after receiving a shock from the television. I saw Susan Boyle in high definition.
Continue ReadingI would kill to spend 15- …
I would kill to spend 15-25 years in prison.
Continue ReadingAn electrician was arrest …
An electrician was arrested after a brawl in the pub last night. He was eventually discharged.
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