People have always told m …
People have always told me I’d end up working in Tesco & I must have believed it, ‘cos now I do. My mate says it’s a shelf-for-filling prophecy.
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Jeff Goldblum is pretty f …
Jeff Goldblum is pretty fly for a white guy.
Continue ReadingOn this day in 1877, Thom …
On this day in 1877, Thomas Edison demonstrates his phonograph for the first time. It soon becomes a record.
Continue ReadingFirst Steven Griffiths, t …
First Steven Griffiths, then Gary Coleman and finally Derrick Bird. That’s 3 Sickipedia members we’ve lost in the past week.
Continue ReadingMy wife just caught me re …
My wife just caught me red handed. Tell you what,this painting without gloves sure is a messy business.
Continue ReadingMy driving instructor tol …
My driving instructor told me, NEVER brake if there’s an animal in the road. You should have seen the look on the copper’s face as I knocked him off his horse.
Continue ReadingTo compensate for a staff …
To compensate for a staff shortage, Tesco now has an increased amount of disabled employees. Every cripple helps!
Continue ReadingSolve the worlds problems …
Solve the worlds problems, Make the Hungry eat the Homeless
Continue ReadingWhat happens if you hook …
What happens if you hook up two 9V batteries to a raisin? You get an electric current.
Continue ReadingI was never one to make a …
I was never one to make a scene. Which is probably why I was a terrible playwright.
Continue ReadingWhat do ya get when you c …
What do ya get when you cross a road with a chicken? Questioned
Continue ReadingI think I’m being scammed …
I think I’m being scammed. I give five pounds a month to a charity. They’re committed to beating heart disease. All the diseases I can think of make it stop.
Continue ReadingHas anyone else noticed t …
Has anyone else noticed the irony that the preferred drink of London’s Homeless community is called Tenants.
Continue ReadingMy missus was waiting for …
My missus was waiting for me to come home. “I went to the doctor today about those stomach pains I’ve been having. You’ll never guess what he told me.” she said. “Go on.” I replied. “Well, lets just say that I’ll be eating for two for next seven months.” “That’s great news love.” I said. […]
Continue ReadingWe really should erect a …
We really should erect a statue of the guy who killed Hitler.
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