Stone vs. iPhone 3G: Stone (40,000 BC)- MMS: NO Video calling: NO Video recording: NO Changeable memory cards: NO Touchscreen: NO iPhone 3G (2008)- MMS: NO Video calling: NO Video recording: NO Changeable memory cards: NO Touchscreen: YES
Continue ReadingI finally found an honest mechanic. He honestly doesn’t know how to fix anything.
Continue ReadingI’ve heard that supermarkets waft bakery smells around the store to subconsciously encourage customers to buy bread. I can only conclude that my local Lidl supermarket is trying to encourage its customers to buy toilet rolls!
Continue ReadingIf I was any more street… I would be homeless
Continue ReadingI got a phone call from a woman last night. She said, “I’m carrying your baby”. I said, “That’s impossible, I haven’t got a baby”.
Continue ReadingYou know music’s bad when parodies are better than the original.
Continue ReadingI’ve just got some of my hair dyed, it was the highlight of my day.
Continue ReadingA man walks into a bar and says, “Ouch!” The barman asks, “What did you say that for?” The man replies, “I heard it in a joke once.”
Continue ReadingEnglish grammar? That’s as easy as counting two three.
Continue ReadingI was at a funeral early on today, though sad as it was there was lots to do and even a band to celebrate their send off! I’d say I had a pretty eventful mourning
Continue ReadingIf men say, “There are plenty more fish in the sea”, do women say, “There are plenty more fisherman”?
Continue ReadingA girl who I had a huge crush on at school just smiled as she walked past me in Tesco struggling with her trolley. I was going to go and ask her out, but I didn’t want to push it.
Continue ReadingMy wife tells me I don’t understand pausing for effect.
Continue ReadingI think I just saw Damon Albarn on a motorbike. Not sure, it was a bit of a blur.
Continue ReadingMy son had a charity non-uniform day at school yesterday. I thought I’d get him to emulate my look. I can’t believe the school frowned upon black steel toe capped boots, turned up jeans, a white vest and red braces.
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