Women can’t drive in Saud …
Women can’t drive in Saudi Arabia. And we say we’re the civilised ones.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Just saw a bunch of bloke …
Just saw a bunch of blokes knocking ten bells out of some household waste as it rolled by on a conveyor belt. It was a rubbish punch-line.
Continue ReadingWhats the point in those …
Whats the point in those Tescos self service check-outs, if you have to call a member of staff to put in their code for every other item?
Continue ReadingMy football team is spons …
My football team is sponsored by Apple. So now there is an ‘I’ in team.
Continue ReadingI gave my German friend t …
I gave my German friend to the count of three to explain himself for the lack of moisture in his spaghetti… I said, “Heinz, why dry?”
Continue ReadingI’ve just been down to th …
I’ve just been down to the pub and had five pints of fresh orange juice. Now I can’t talk properly. I think I’m pithed.
Continue ReadingWe had to say goodbye to …
We had to say goodbye to our German Shepherd yesterday. Auf wiedersehen, pet.
Continue ReadingSword sheaths… I don’t …
Sword sheaths… I don’t see the point.
Continue ReadingJust had a 9 to 5 shift …
Just had a 9 to 5 shift at childline it was the hardest 8 hours of my life.
Continue ReadingAs the police put the han …
As the police put the handcuffs on me, my mother said, “Dan, I’ve failed you as a mother.” “Mum, my name is Dave.”
Continue ReadingI’m against protesting, b …
I’m against protesting, but I’m not sure how to show it
Continue Reading“What am I going to do?” …
“What am I going to do?” cried my tearful elderly relative. “My winter allowance won’t cover my gas bill?” “But it is rather large, have you had the heating on full blast or something?” I exclaimed. “Hardly at all, I’ve just cooked a few puddings and stuff for some people,” she sniffled. “But the bill’s […]
Continue ReadingIf I had a pound for ever …
If I had a pound for every business I’ve failed at, I could afford to start a beanstalk farm.
Continue ReadingI’ve just seen a sign for …
I’ve just seen a sign for a low bridge. I didn’t even know they could get depressed.
Continue ReadingAt work today an Indian w …
At work today an Indian woman got fired apparently JIHAD to go.
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