I slept in for work again today. When I got in, my boss called me into his office, shut the door and said, “If you’re this keen on having lie-ins, you’ll have plenty of them to look forward to in the near future!” What a sound guy. I’m not even going to bother setting my […]
Continue ReadingI’ve learnt many things by trial and error. Most importantly, being a judge just wasn’t for me.
Continue ReadingMy wife left me because I think that everything is ironic. Which was ironic.
Continue ReadingThe popularity of voyeurism is peeking
Continue ReadingI would imagine if you understood Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy!
Continue ReadingAs we approached the lion enclosure the Warden on the gate waved for me to stop the car. “Is that your daughter?” he asked. “Yes, and I know what you’re going to say,” I replied, “But she’s only five. If I don’t raise her car seat a bit, she can’t see the animals. She’s strapped […]
Continue ReadingA woman came up to me in a club and said “I heard that you were a limbo dancer?” I said “Yeah I am” She said “Come on then…How low can you go?” I said “Well if I was desperate then I’d probably steal from a kid with cancer”
Continue ReadingOur family were so poor when I was a child, my brother and I had to share everything. Mind you, you should see how quick I am on one roller skate.
Continue ReadingI was talking to a navy seal earlier. I couldn’t understand why it was that colour…
Continue ReadingWhat’s the easiest way to spot a black man? With white paint.
Continue ReadingI bought some black face paint before. It’s really convincing. As soon as i put it on I lost my job and I’m in court this Wednesday.
Continue ReadingAfter reading the joke: Earlier today I saw the facebook group “Kids vs Cancer”. It turns out writing “my money is on cancer everytime” on the wall is one way to get quite a bit of hate mail. How many of you went onto facebook searched for that group then posted that comment on the […]
Continue ReadingWhy is it that sickipedians are so harsh on improper grammar, yet do not know the difference between duplicate and replicate?
Continue ReadingGive me ambiguity or give me something else.
Continue ReadingPunch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
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