I may have annoyed my boss today. We were all in late anyway and looking to leave early and he told everybody to prepare not to come in tomorrow. Somebody asked how you prepare for not coming in. I suggested staying up late and drinking.
Continue ReadingBBC News: “895 poles entering the UK every day” What kind of climbing frame are we building?
Continue ReadingAlcohol hand rub confuses the homeless.
Continue ReadingMy Jokes about the Cloned Cows keep getting deleted because they’re duplicates
Continue ReadingI loved dinosaurs as a child, and dreamed of being a paleontologist. Then the government cut student grants, and I had to become a rent boy. I still get bones from dirty old fossils, though.
Continue ReadingIf a bird uses twitter, what does a bear use?
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend has just text me : Fancie a bitt of annal tonite? Don’t get me wrong it’s a lovely text, but I don’t agree with an 8 year old having a mobile.
Continue ReadingThis changing the time an hour ain’t half affected my body clock. I got my early morning erection when I was standing in the bus queue
Continue ReadingThe BBC are going to have a new fund raising event next year for people who have lost limbs. It’s called “hand relief”.
Continue Reading‘Did you just get run over?’ someone asked earlier. ‘Yes,’ I replied flatly.
Continue ReadingCarol Vorderman came up to me yesterday and said ”A,E,I,O,U.” I thought ”That’s vowel language.”
Continue ReadingMy colleagues all think I’m posh. I’m not, I went to one of the roughest colleges in cambridge
Continue ReadingA google search led me to the “Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network website” – RAINN.org. I have to admit I was disappointed by their “get involved” section.
Continue ReadingWednesdays are so depressing. Definitely up there in the top 7.
Continue ReadingStatistically, 2/4 waltzes are hard to dance to.
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