My mate couldn’t wait to …
My mate couldn’t wait to get his widescreen TV. I said, “Are you going to mount it?” He said, “I’m not that excited.”
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I am Loaded. Why are my …
I am Loaded. Why are my pages stuck together?
Continue ReadingRoy Wood (of Wizzard) and …
Roy Wood (of Wizzard) and Ronnie Wood (The Stones) are getting together to form The Splinter Group.
Continue ReadingI went to go buy some cam …
I went to go buy some camaflauge trousers today… but I couldnt find any.
Continue ReadingAre you Omniscient? Did y …
Are you Omniscient? Did you have to look that word up? Then no, you’re not.
Continue ReadingI’ll tell you whats not g …
I’ll tell you whats not good news. Bad news.
Continue ReadingIf you take an ‘n’ from n …
If you take an ‘n’ from nonsense, it makes no sense.
Continue ReadingThey say beauty is in the …
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but us bee keepers are a lot less popular with the ladies than you might think!
Continue ReadingSince the start of the re …
Since the start of the recession I’ve been trying to make every penny count. They still haven’t learned.
Continue ReadingI was sitting with my mat …
I was sitting with my mate Tom from Australia as we stayed up late watching the cricket. Tom pulled a bottle of beer out of the fridge and came up to me and asked “Mate have you got an opener?” To which I replied “Yeah two great ones, how about you?”
Continue ReadingWhen it comes to chat up …
When it comes to chat up lines, vampires don’t have much luck. “Have you got a mirror in your knickers love? because I can’t see myself in there tonight.”
Continue ReadingLaw Of Reverse Dynamics: …
Law Of Reverse Dynamics: . When A Man Becomes Rich He Becomes Naughty & When A Woman Becomes Naughty. ……She Becomes Rich
Continue ReadingAs I’ve got older, I’m no …
As I’ve got older, I’m now into soft rock. The hard stuff plays havoc with my dentures.
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between James Corden and AIDS? I don’t hope AIDS will suffer from James Corden.
Continue ReadingA Russian girl the other …
A Russian girl the other day asked me, “Who was Lenin?” I was quite amazed, it’s like a German asking who Hitler was, or a Chinese person asking who Genghis Kahn was, or an American asking who Ronald Macdonald was.
Continue Reading