Author: qjoq.com

My missus is a bit of a ringer for Victoria Beckham. The other day we were in bed together and she asked me to finger her. So I told the police she was responsible for abducting Maddie.

I have been diagnosed with an illness that turns me into a mechanical killing machine programmed to go back in time to kill Sarah Connor. Hopefully I’ll get over it with a bit of determination.

Went to a Chinese book store the other day, but couldn’t find the book I wanted. It was only on my way out I noticed that it was the Wong Foo Kin Book Store.

AT OM Who said splitting the atom was complex!

I had to split up with my girlfriend, ever since she’s become a tour guide in China she’s been doing my head in. In fact the last time i went to visit her she drove me up the Wall.

“What do you think of Ant and Dec?” “Well, Ant is a bit deviant, but Dec is half decent.”