My wife has packed her ba …
My wife has packed her bags and gone – just because of my fetish with touching pasta. I’m feeling cannelloni right now.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
This new phone tariff is …
This new phone tariff is a bit steep, every time I plug the phone in it tells me it’s charging.
Continue ReadingWhen Moat shot himself ap …
When Moat shot himself apparently , he Roauled over.
Continue ReadingWhen it comes to HIV, the …
When it comes to HIV, there is no positive news.
Continue ReadingMy Spanish girlfriend was …
My Spanish girlfriend was cheating on me with a Lurpak salesman so i hired a mantequilla
Continue ReadingSeven pirates and a parro …
Seven pirates and a parrot walk into Pizza Hut and the woman behind the counter says, “What can I get you?” The parrot squawks, “Pizzas for eight, Pizzas for eight.”
Continue ReadingI just watched a TV ad fo …
I just watched a TV ad for Old Jamaica Ginger Beer that said “You can’t beat an Old Jamaican”. Challenge accepted.
Continue ReadingNEWS: Fashion icon dead.. …
NEWS: Fashion icon dead… Oh no, Timmy Mallet hasn’t croaked it has he?
Continue ReadingDid you know that 90 perc …
Did you know that 90 percent of of all accidents occur in the home? It’s a fun fact , and it’s also the line I use to cheer up a homeless guy when I don’t want to give him any money.
Continue ReadingWhat’s blue, has three fe …
What’s blue, has three feet and kills hundreds of children a year? A metre of water.
Continue Reading“I’m a poetician.” “You …
“I’m a poetician.” “You mean a politician?” “No, all my lies rhyme.”
Continue ReadingLooks like the days of go …
Looks like the days of good grammar is went.
Continue ReadingCharities that help negle …
Charities that help neglected children are easily ignored.
Continue ReadingI saw a sign in the hospi …
I saw a sign in the hospital that read ‘Burn Victims’ I was gutted that I’d left my petrol can at home.
Continue ReadingI grazed my shin today. T …
I grazed my shin today. Tasted of hair.
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