I’d like to thank politic …
I’d like to thank politicians for no longer patronising us, and I’d also like to thank them for wearing colour coded ties so we knew which party was which.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
My dad fell to his death …
My dad fell to his death when he tried to urinate from the top of a building. What a way to go.
Continue Reading“You know how sometimes y …
“You know how sometimes you get a song stuck in your head and can’t get it out? OK, now imagine the song is a tumour.” –Insensitive Doctor
Continue ReadingAt the tender age of 82 m …
At the tender age of 82 my gran has lost the plot, she keeps thinking that I am my grandad. To be honest it’s a compliment, he was a great bloke. But, the biggest compliment of all was the fact that ‘Apparently’ I’m better in bed.
Continue ReadingIve had to take a week of …
Ive had to take a week off work to go to the doctors and get some medicine, And by doctors i mean Asda, And by medicine in 3 cases of beer for 20.
Continue ReadingI was always the best at …
I was always the best at maths in school. Pretty much the bare minimum as a teacher.
Continue ReadingI was having a few drinks …
I was having a few drinks in the pub the other night when an architect ran through the door and started doing cartwheels and backflips. He knew how to make an entrance.
Continue ReadingNow that my father is pus …
Now that my father is pushing daisies I’ve decided to follow his example. Cow tipping is a great hobby.
Continue ReadingJust had a maths lesson o …
Just had a maths lesson on means, medians, and modes. It was average…
Continue ReadingA news report read: “Coun …
A news report read: “Council Spending Cuts Spark Demonstrations” That’s a shame. since cancelling November 5th for Health & Safety, the council have always put on amazing firework displays for Diwali, Ramadan, Eid and the Birthday of Guru Tegh Bahadur.
Continue ReadingEating fruit and vegetabl …
Eating fruit and vegetables is good for you Apart from the ones that kill you
Continue ReadingMy wife used to be a regu …
My wife used to be a regular customer at McDonalds. These days, she’s more of a large.
Continue ReadingI thought the overall qua …
I thought the overall quality of posts on the Sickipedia front page would improve later in the evenings, when all the schoolkids have gone to bed. Turns out that most Sickipedians have better things to do than post jokes at that time…
Continue ReadingJust been thrown out of m …
Just been thrown out of my local chess tournament. I was bashing the bishop.
Continue ReadingThe tagline to the charit …
The tagline to the charity Save The Children is “No child born to die.” Well, technically…
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