A guy who lives down the …
A guy who lives down the road from me was selling his car, he said he wanted 800 for it or he’d take the nearest offer. So I stood right next to him and offered him a tenner.
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Is it possible to be raci …
Is it possible to be racist towards a black albino?
Continue ReadingI lowered my ride six inc …
I lowered my ride six inches, fitted it with a spoiler, and put a subwoofer in the rear. That’s when they asked me to leave the horse show.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a gurnin …
What do you call a gurning flower? Tulip.
Continue ReadingMy ex-wife was deaf. She …
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
Continue ReadingMy favourite way to dress …
My favourite way to dress is in all black. My fashion sense is second to nun.
Continue ReadingThey say there is strengt …
They say there is strength in numbers… Try telling that to 93 norwegian teenagers
Continue ReadingI was reading this guy’s …
I was reading this guy’s paper on the bus today, he kept turning the page and I couldn’t keep up. Almost sprained my ankle running alongside it too.
Continue ReadingMy wife thinks she’s witt …
My wife thinks she’s witty. She’s half right.
Continue Reading“Italian ship crew are in …
“Italian ship crew are in denial” Let’s hope they can navigate that a little better.
Continue ReadingThose Big Issue sellers n …
Those Big Issue sellers need to move with the times. Getting up early to sell magazines on the streets – why don’t they use eBay from the comfort of their homes? Then they’d have time for a bath and a shave too.
Continue ReadingEver since I tried to clo …
Ever since I tried to clog a hole in my boat with my tongue, I’ve been thinking…
Continue ReadingI got quite emotional at …
I got quite emotional at the garage today – it was a lovely service.
Continue ReadingWomen: Save money on masc …
Women: Save money on mascara, eyeliner, and other expensive eye make-up by simply forgetting to put Mayonnaise in my sandwich.
Continue ReadingWhoever came up with the …
Whoever came up with the saying “as clear as a bell” obviously never had genital warts.
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