Author: qjoq.com

My wife said we’ve got to go to the Next sale this weekend. I don’t even remember going to the first one.

I’ve had one of them ‘Chubb’ locks fitted on my front door, works like a dream, I’ve had no fat people round for a week..

I got a nasty shock today and nearly died. My wife flashed before my eyes.

My ex text me today saying, “I know we haven’t spoken in a while but my aunt on my mum’s side died today.” I replied, “I didn’t even notice she had a Siamese twin.”

I have started a newspaper solely based around ice cream, I’ve just had my first scoop.