I received a letter throu …
I received a letter through the post yesterday that had me asking some questions. It was a “Y”
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I’ve only ever had one sp …
I’ve only ever had one splinter, hopefully it wont happen again… Touch wood.
Continue ReadingMy long-term girlfriend s …
My long-term girlfriend should know by now how much I like jokes and tricks… So if she actually turns up at church wearing a wedding dress on April 1st, more fool her.
Continue ReadingToday, I found out that m …
Today, I found out that my father named me Luke so he could say, “Luke, I am your father” and laugh about it.
Continue ReadingWhat do we want? More Fat …
What do we want? More Fat Boy Slim. When do we want it? Right here, right now.
Continue ReadingI took my nan for a pleas …
I took my nan for a pleasant boating trip around the lake today in a row boat. She kept shouting ‘Stroke, stroke, stroke!’. ‘I’m going as fast as I can, nan, shut up!’, I told her. It was only when the left hand side of her face dropped I realised she was having one.
Continue ReadingMy wife has always stood …
My wife has always stood by me. If she behaves I might let her sit down.
Continue ReadingI thought I’d found a 9-l …
I thought I’d found a 9-legged spider today. Turned out to be an ordinary spider with an erection.
Continue ReadingIn The Sun today, there i …
In The Sun today, there is a story about an attempt to smuggle 1m worth of drugs aboard HMS Manchester by a wren,but the attached picture is clearly of a blackbird.
Continue ReadingI used to have rules that …
I used to have rules that people couldn’t smoke in my house. But they soon went out the window.
Continue ReadingI thought I’d have a take …
I thought I’d have a take away tonight. So I snuck next door and took their Shepherds Pie.
Continue ReadingThe definition of terror …
The definition of terror – When you message your girlfriend and hear your wifes text tone.
Continue ReadingMy drunk wife fell out of …
My drunk wife fell out of the bed last night. She was standing up when I did a sharp u-turn in my pickup truck.
Continue ReadingMy wife said she is leavi …
My wife said she is leaving me because I spend too much time online #mustbethattimeofthemonth
Continue ReadingThis year saw Apple Inc b …
This year saw Apple Inc become the richest company in the world. It is rumoured that they now have so much money that they can even afford to buy one of their own laptops.
Continue Reading