BBC News – First BBC tele …
BBC News – First BBC television weatherman George Cowling dies. Bet he didn’t predict that.
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Bacon proves that God has …
Bacon proves that God has a sense of humour. He invents the greatest meat in the world then doesn’t let his chosen people eat it.
Continue ReadingAfter a rollercoaster was …
After a rollercoaster was controversially built over the local graveyard I was up in arms. It makes it more fun to ride that way.
Continue ReadingI’m an easy target for mu …
I’m an easy target for muggers. Take it from me.
Continue ReadingMy best mate Arthur, has …
My best mate Arthur, has a round table and a cat called Merlin. I can’t help but laugh; Arthur is an old man’s name.
Continue ReadingMe and the wife went to a …
Me and the wife went to a new Thai restaurant last night, we both ordered. When the food came I asked the waitress, “Have you got any seasoning?” “Num Prik” she replied I said “No, my wife’s fine, but I’d like some salt.”
Continue ReadingMy mate told me I was rea …
My mate told me I was really slow yesterday when we were in the pub. I quickly came back with “Your mum’s really slow.” Unfortunately he couldn’t hear it as he had left hours ago.
Continue ReadingAbstinence leaves a lot t …
Abstinence leaves a lot to be desired.
Continue ReadingCoffee isn’t my cup of te …
Coffee isn’t my cup of tea.
Continue ReadingAll through school I trie …
All through school I tried to work out what made my teacher tick? Turns out it was correct answers.
Continue ReadingJames Bond is constantly …
James Bond is constantly ripped, amazing at poker, and seems to know where all the good looking girls in the area are. Three guesses how he spent his time as a teenager…
Continue ReadingClearing the history Keep …
Clearing the history Keeping your wife and kids oblivious to your fetishes since windows 95.
Continue ReadingIf plan A fails remember …
If plan A fails remember you have 25 letters left.
Continue ReadingWhat does Frodo use to pl …
What does Frodo use to pleasure himself? A Bilbo
Continue ReadingBeckham gets a lifetime a …
Beckham gets a lifetime achievement award… That’s a bit like Fritzel getting voted father of the year.
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