What do Travis Barker and …
What do Travis Barker and Sickipedia have in common? Both crashed over the weekend!
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
My wife is my better half …
My wife is my better half but my secretary is my better hole
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend said, “I do …
My girlfriend said, “I don’t want you wearing a condom anymore when we’re making love.” “Oh sweetie, are we starting a family then?” I giggled. “No, you just look stupid with your ears all squashed up in it.”
Continue ReadingTwo people from my local …
Two people from my local church came to my door today but this time they weren’t trying to convert me.. They were advertising a new gym, Jehovah’s fitness.
Continue ReadingSome guy dressed as a Nor …
Some guy dressed as a North American Indian tried to start a fight with me, today. I said, ” Come on Navajo, if you think you’re hard enough.”
Continue ReadingMy doctor says with a bit …
My doctor says with a bit of patience he can cure my blindness. I’ll have to wait and see.
Continue ReadingI saw a great car sticker …
I saw a great car sticker on a smashed up car this morning: “My other driver’s a man”
Continue ReadingAccording to a recent sur …
According to a recent survey taken in Scotland, 1 in 10 Scottish kids have been knocked down on the road whilst out playing… Only 1? Has driving standards really got that bad that they’ve missed so many of them?
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein? One’s washed up at the bottom of the sea, the other’s hanging out to dry.
Continue ReadingI went clay pigeon shooti …
I went clay pigeon shooting with my friend Paul I couldn’t believe how many people knew him, they were calling his name out all day long.
Continue ReadingI’m sure my daughter is g …
I’m sure my daughter is going to grow up to be a slapper. I took her to the dentists yesterday and he said, ‘open wide.’ She said, ‘I can’t – there’s arms on the chair.’
Continue ReadingI went to the internation …
I went to the international look-a-like of the year contest, It was a tie between, The Black’s and the Chinese
Continue ReadingJust noticed, ‘Nice with …
Just noticed, ‘Nice with strawberries’, on the side of my Shredded Wheat box. That’s because strawberries are nice, you don’t see on the side of a box of strawberries, ‘Nice with Shredded Wheat’.
Continue Reading“What would you like?” sa …
“What would you like?” says the barman. “What would I like?” says Bob. “A bigger house, more money and a more attractive wife.” “No,” says the barman, patiently. “I meant what do you want?” “To win the lottery, for my mother-in-law to die and for my child to be born healthy!” “What’s it to be?” […]
Continue ReadingRicky Gervais is singing …
Ricky Gervais is singing in a small nightclub in front of a private audience, backed by a jazz quartet. A couple near the back of the club, an old man and his wife, are enjoying the ambience when the elderly lady whispers to her husband that she’d love to hear Ricky sing something by Bing […]
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