I left the pub a bit late …
I left the pub a bit late, thereby missing the last bus. Well cry me Arriva.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I forgot to meet my disab …
I forgot to meet my disabled friend at the cinema last night. It was the first time he’s ever been stood up.
Continue ReadingEver since my accident at …
Ever since my accident at work, I’ve been going round changing bulbs and flicking switches. I’m on light duties.
Continue ReadingWhy is everyone making su …
Why is everyone making such a big issue out of homelessness?
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend thinks that …
My girlfriend thinks that her head is too cone-shaped. She has a point.
Continue ReadingIn the short run, Warwick …
In the short run, Warwick Davis was a close second behind Mini Me.
Continue ReadingMy wife said I show no sy …
My wife said I show no sympathy for the children in slave labour. “You should try putting yourself in their shoes!” She said. So I went and bought a pair of trainers from Primark.
Continue ReadingWhen I found out I was lo …
When I found out I was losing in the Stag Swimming Race, my hart sank.
Continue Readingwhoever says patience is …
whoever says patience is the key to success, must never had experienced a slow internet connection
Continue ReadingI left work an hour early …
I left work an hour early today. “Where you going with that parachute?” Asked my co-pilot.
Continue ReadingI was thinking of putting …
I was thinking of putting fangs on my canine teeth to make me look more like a vampire and have the many girls who read the Twilight series chasing after me. But I think perhaps with my weight problem, I’d look more like a baby walrus.
Continue ReadingThose who say that there …
Those who say that there is noting to fear but fear itself obviously have never had 4 missed calls from their mum.
Continue ReadingI’ve just bought a polyst …
I’ve just bought a polystyrene door. Twenty quid, you can’t knock it.
Continue ReadingSubway. The only place wh …
Subway. The only place where you’d actually be willing to pay a black man to give you 6 inches.
Continue ReadingI’ve started a counterfei …
I’ve started a counterfeit operation, selling fake colours. Tan is the most popular.
Continue Reading