Just signed up for that ” …
Just signed up for that “Fantasy Football League” with Sky, where they give you a 75 Million budget. Still trying to find out how to withdraw it to my bank account…
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I was going to tell a jok …
I was going to tell a joke about procrastination, but I suppose it can wait…
Continue ReadingMy daredevil friend has n …
My daredevil friend has nerves of steel. A bungee jump went wrong and he was crushed against a bridge.
Continue ReadingI went into my local off …
I went into my local off licence and picked up a bottle of Frosty Jacks cider today. “You having a wild night?” Asked the shopkeeper laughing. “Nah mate,” I replied, “I’m planning on redecorating the bathroom and I see that you’re out of paint stripper.”
Continue ReadingSomeday trans-gender Pino …
Someday trans-gender Pinocchio, you’ll be a real girl.
Continue ReadingJust seen a news presente …
Just seen a news presenter asking an astronomer where is the best place to look to see tonights meteor shower.. ‘Up’ surely?
Continue ReadingMy mate took a tumble the …
My mate took a tumble the other day. I don’t know how he managed it, but he needed something to dry his clothes in.
Continue ReadingYou can always find a cop …
You can always find a copy of yesterday’s Racing Post in the bushes of my next door neighbour’s garden. He must be hedging his bets.
Continue ReadingI like using Latin phrase …
I like using Latin phrases when speaking in English and vice versa.
Continue ReadingI wonder how many of the …
I wonder how many of the sickipedia top users are on the FBI’s top 10 most wanted list?
Continue ReadingWhat’s the most famous un …
What’s the most famous underground river? Phoenix.
Continue ReadingWent to a fancy dress par …
Went to a fancy dress party as a replacement tyre. Felt like a spare part all night.
Continue ReadingI just heard the incredib …
I just heard the incredible news that the joint winners of the Euromillions jackpot are BT workers in Liverpool……………. I could hardly believe it,. people in Liverpool with jobs!!
Continue ReadingYou have to hand it to pe …
You have to hand it to people that can’t reach it.
Continue ReadingMy next door neighbours p …
My next door neighbours pit bull attacked our cat today. My kids looked on screaming as I ran out and beat him to a pulp with a baseball bat. Well, the dog was going to kill him anyway so I thought it was the kindest thing to do.
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