qjoq.com – Page 897

IRONY: Ex Blue Peter pres …

IRONY: Ex Blue Peter presenter Peter Duncan getting diagnosed with hypothermia.

I like taking my 6 year-o …

I like taking my 6 year-old daughter to swimming lessons. As a parent, I think it’s a vital skill that could save her life one day. But for now, I’ll enjoy the camel-toe.

Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease …

November 19qjoq.comLeave a Comment

Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease was named after its discoverer.. Dr John Disease.

If you hit someone with a …

November 19qjoq.comLeave a Comment

If you hit someone with a rhythm stick. They may sustain an Ian Dury.

I found myself turning in …

November 19qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I found myself turning into a vampire last night. My car hit Hilary Devey on a street corner.

“When a girl is silent, thats pretty dangerous. Shes either overthinking, tired of waiting, about to blow, lonely, needs a hug, falling apart or crying inside. and most probably all of those above..” – A facebook group quite obviously written by a girl. Had it been written by a bloke it would read “When a […]

I met my last 4 girlfrien …

November 19qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I met my last 4 girlfriends on this very site… and now my boss has fired me……. I pulled too many Sicki’s

My wife left me today and …

November 18qjoq.comLeave a Comment

My wife left me today and all i have is a goat and a sheep Its just ewe and me kid

Gutted. Some bird invited …

November 18qjoq.comLeave a Comment

Gutted. Some bird invited me to a party but I forgot to RSPB.

X Factor, absolute compul …

November 18qjoq.comLeave a Comment

X Factor, absolute compulsive irony. Every 2 minutes, the enjoyment of seeing a black person blubbering … ‘Everything I’ve worked so hard for, has been taken away’

Americans claim to get pl …

November 18qjoq.comLeave a Comment

Americans claim to get plenty of exercise, despite the fact that most of them are vastly overweight. Not surprising, though, if your definition of exercise is ‘anything that makes you sweat’ and includes waddling from the car park to McDonald’s.

I asked my mate to get me …

November 18qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I asked my mate to get me a Stella. He came back with a pint of John Smiths. I was bitterly dissapointed.

I remember my teacher tel …

November 18qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I remember my teacher telling me that looking out of the window wouldn’t get me anywhere. Did I have a smug look on my face later on in life when I handed him his burger and fries at the drive through.