I could do with a fizzy d …
I could do with a fizzy drink. I’ve been drinking lemonade for 5 days flat.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I lost my father last wee …
I lost my father last week. I’m sure he’ll turn up somewhere though
Continue ReadingThe Royal Air Force devel …
The Royal Air Force develops a new fighter jet. It is very fast, extremely agile and more or less the perfect aircraft. Only one problem occurs time and again – the wings keep breaking off. No matter what the engineers try, they fail to solve the problem. The Ministry of Defence offers a special prize […]
Continue ReadingI just told my mate that …
I just told my mate that I mugged a homeless guy. He says I have big issues.
Continue ReadingSmell gas? Locate the sus …
Smell gas? Locate the suspected leak by striking an ordinary match in every room in the house until a loud explosion reveals the source of the escaping gas.
Continue ReadingSo I got home, and the ph …
So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said “Who’s speaking please?” And a voice said “You are.”
Continue ReadingI bought one of those “Dy …
I bought one of those “Dyson Ball” vacuums. Surprised it didn’t even have a bag to collect the dust in. Guess it must be a Ball Bag-less vacuum.
Continue ReadingTwo neurones walk into a …
Two neurones walk into a pub they were barred from only the other night “You’ve got some nerve coming back here boys,” says the Barman.
Continue ReadingFinally got my brown wing …
Finally got my brown wings last night! ..And now my dream of scaring little kids and pensioners as a giant moth can be realised!
Continue ReadingWikipedia is to be blacke …
Wikipedia is to be blacked out for 24 hours. An article on Wikipedia stated that this was the most significant event in modern history since Hitler invented the light bulb.
Continue ReadingDoes Sri Lanka have a Pri …
Does Sri Lanka have a Prime Minister and, if so, is he the PMSL?
Continue ReadingMy mate has no hands. I f …
My mate has no hands. I feel for him.
Continue ReadingWonder if there’s a euphe …
Wonder if there’s a euphemism for a ‘euphemism’?
Continue ReadingLooking for a nipple on Y …
Looking for a nipple on Youtube is like looking for a salad in America.
Continue ReadingSo Ramadan’s come round a …
So Ramadan’s come round again. It must be a nightmare for all those Asians, resisting the temptation to eat all day, especially as they all work in McDonald’s.
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