I was getting a quote fro …
I was getting a quote from a guy to tile my roof. He told me what his plan was. It went straight over my head
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My hands are like the Rai …
My hands are like the Rain , They make you wet! ——————————————————– Mine are like onions
Continue ReadingIt is impossible to make …
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious
Continue ReadingI was trying to explain t …
I was trying to explain trigonometry to my teenage nephew the other day, but I kept going off on a tangent.
Continue ReadingWhy is it that everybody …
Why is it that everybody that wants me to sponsor them to do the Run for Life looks like running for a bus would kill them?
Continue ReadingIf I could have one Super …
If I could have one Superpower it would be the ability to walk through things. I often try it but I’m never successful and it’s so frustrating. It’s like I’m constantly banging my head against a brick wall.
Continue ReadingWhen are lawyers guarante …
When are lawyers guaranteed to lose a case? At Heathrow.
Continue ReadingI was thinking of becomin …
I was thinking of becoming a suicide bomber but they only did temp work.
Continue ReadingI have a piece of wood at …
I have a piece of wood attached to my wall that i kept all my Dusty Springfield records on but now that i’ve sold all my records, i just don’t know what to do with my shelf.
Continue ReadingMy friend says I have tro …
My friend says I have trouble understanding how to end jokes.
Continue ReadingAfter getting a new tv I …
After getting a new tv I spent hours watching the box .. Then I opened it and got the telly out
Continue ReadingSky news – ‘Tomlinson Doc …
Sky news – ‘Tomlinson Doc Rapped Over Post Mortems’ I wonder if it was his own material or just a bit of Eminem.
Continue ReadingI can’t believe this! Aft …
I can’t believe this! After months of round the clock studying, my Design Technology teacher has given me a low grade on my last test. I’m so mad, I’ve decided that first thing tomorrow I’m going to buy a hammer, take it into college and cut his head off!
Continue ReadingI wanted to take the tras …
I wanted to take the trash out the other night but she said she was feeling ill.
Continue ReadingPolticially That’s Politi …
Polticially That’s Politically Incorrect.
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