Uruguay has decided to ge …
Uruguay has decided to get with the times so it’s going to change it’s capital city from Montevideo to Montebluray.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Whilt browsing the “ban s …
Whilt browsing the “ban sickipedia” facebook group I couldn’t help but notice the following in the related groups list. “I Bet We Can Get 9999 Scousers By 9/9/09” Anyone else see the irony in this?
Continue ReadingSaw a bloke today slowing …
Saw a bloke today slowing crawling on the ground, looking up women’s skirts. What a creep.
Continue ReadingI offered a fat bird a da …
I offered a fat bird a date once, but she turned me down. She wouldn’t touch any kind of fruit.
Continue ReadingI’m being a thoughtful hu …
I’m being a thoughtful husband and buying my wife the audio version of Fifty shades of grey, that’ll mean she has both hands free to pleasure herself. By finishing the ironing.
Continue ReadingA study shows that lots o …
A study shows that lots of time spent outdoors leads to better eyesight. Which explains why you never see a homeless guy in Specsavers.
Continue ReadingThe heiress to the Johnso …
The heiress to the Johnson and Johnson empire has been found dead in her LA home. The family have asked for no more tears.
Continue ReadingJust quit my job with Nat …
Just quit my job with National rail. Couldn’t be doing with all the training.
Continue ReadingWhen I get invited to a f …
When I get invited to a fancy dinner party, I always go commando. I find it can be a real conversation starter when I smash the sky light and zip line into the room.
Continue ReadingMathematics is 90% common …
Mathematics is 90% common sense, the other half is intelligence.
Continue ReadingExam results day today, p …
Exam results day today, people crying and others dropping out. Me? I couldn’t be happier, my results spelt F U D G E.
Continue ReadingMy parents couldn’t tell …
My parents couldn’t tell the time. When I’d come home from a date, they’d always say, “Do you have any idea what time it is?”
Continue ReadingMy wife was brought home …
My wife was brought home by the police today, having just been fined by them. Gutted. Oh, wait, it isn’t spelled fined… it’s found.
Continue ReadingBehave. The place where p …
Behave. The place where posh bees fly to.
Continue ReadingIf we are all gods childr …
If we are all gods children, why hasn’t the CSA chased him for maintenance?
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