My girlfriend won’t let m …
My girlfriend won’t let me have kids, she just keeps saying stuff like “put those down, they’re not yours”
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I went for my first drivi …
I went for my first driving lesson today. I was already nervous, then I heard something that worried me even more as I got in the car. “Hi, I’m Louise and I’ll be your driving instructor for today”, she said.
Continue ReadingDid you know you can actu …
Did you know you can actually live in the letters of the ‘HOLLYWOOD’ sign? I used to live in the ‘O’ but I had the neighbours from ‘L’
Continue ReadingFriction can be a drag so …
Friction can be a drag sometimes.
Continue ReadingI failed my driving test …
I failed my driving test for the fourth time today… …or as the Police prefer to call it… The “Breathalyser”.
Continue ReadingI really hate reading the …
I really hate reading the kids a bedtime story when my wife’s too tired to do it. Tonight should be the last time though – I’m reading them the Exorcist.
Continue ReadingI asked my Mum why she in …
I asked my Mum why she insists on talking to me in a different language every day. She told me I wouldn’t understand. I think
Continue ReadingMy Wife told me she had b …
My Wife told me she had breast cancer today. I was Tickled Pink.
Continue ReadingAn Englishman, an Irishma …
An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The American wins the High Jump gold medal.
Continue ReadingJust as a joke I told the …
Just as a joke I told the kids they were adopted. You should have seen their faces! I’ve never seen them so happy.
Continue ReadingSaw a play about the moon …
Saw a play about the moon landings last night. I thought it lacked gravity.
Continue ReadingChildren in Need says 4 m …
Children in Need says 4 million kids are living in poverty and are in need of a hot meal. Well I cant provide for them all but I can do a few each night. Solves my need too.
Continue ReadingMy friend’s just bought a …
My friend’s just bought an old Boeing 747. He plans on turning it into a themed restaurant. I doubt it’ll take off.
Continue ReadingI beat my personal best l …
I beat my personal best last night: pulled 5 times. Then I came. I’ve really made my masturbation efficient.
Continue ReadingMy wife has just popped d …
My wife has just popped down the chip shop. I think it was her seventh kebab that proved fatal.
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