When people talk about gr …
When people talk about gravity it always brings me down.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
My landlord is due to sta …
My landlord is due to star in Oliver Twist at the local theatre soon. He’s not very good at remembering his lines though. He rang me up this morning and said, “Consider yourself evicted”.
Continue ReadingRed Dead Redemption is so …
Red Dead Redemption is so real… It’s like your really in Back to the Future part 3.
Continue ReadingRose’s are red Violet’s a …
Rose’s are red Violet’s are blue. That’s because Violet is locked in the cold cellar and Rose is up here with me for her turn.
Continue ReadingWhere do homeless people …
Where do homeless people shoot their load? In The Big Tissue.
Continue ReadingI was telling my wife how …
I was telling my wife how we should really buy a lottery ticket this week. “Roll over?” she said. Now I’m on the floor.
Continue ReadingI wonder if Whitneys scho …
I wonder if Whitneys school teacher regrets making her do all those lines
Continue ReadingI’ve just invented a liqu …
I’ve just invented a liquid that will burn through anything. I can’t find anything to keep it in.
Continue ReadingIt took me nearly 20 minu …
It took me nearly 20 minutes to get home in the pouring rain last night, I was soaked from head to toe. As I finally made it outside my house, my wife opened the bedroom window and shouted, “That’s not very clever Dave, is it?” “I can’t odds the weather, love” I replied. She said, […]
Continue ReadingWhat do mushrooms wear to …
What do mushrooms wear to the gym? A spores bra.
Continue ReadingThe advertising on this s …
The advertising on this site: “You are the 999,999th visitor: Congratulations you WON!” Is it me, or is it really ironic that people who are actually stupid enough to believe this are the sort of people we are on here to make jokes about?
Continue ReadingIn school I wanted to joi …
In school I wanted to join the debating team. But someone talked me out of it.
Continue ReadingI’m a Sickipedian. And ju …
I’m a Sickipedian. And jumping on the Windows 7 bandwagon, was my idea.
Continue ReadingA mate asked me what I th …
A mate asked me what I thought of The Jimi Hendrix Experience. I said mixing drugs and alcohol and drowning in my own vomit didn’t appeal to me that much.
Continue ReadingDid you hear about the pa …
Did you hear about the paranoia patient who joined twitter? Not a good idea.
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