If there’s one thing I ca …
If there’s one thing I can’t stand. It’s intolerance.
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If you’re building a time …
If you’re building a time machine, take your time. What’s the rush?
Continue ReadingA watched pot never boils …
A watched pot never boils. However an unwatched child never grows up.
Continue ReadingIf you write the word Chi …
If you write the word Chinese in itallics you get a slanty eye
Continue ReadingWhy is it that the minute …
Why is it that the minute I switch on my computer in the morning, I know that it will be a rather unproductive day?
Continue ReadingThanks to Sickipedia, Cri …
Thanks to Sickipedia, Crispy and Google, I now know what H202 is.
Continue ReadingMe and my wife played a f …
Me and my wife played a fun new game i think it’s called ‘silly questions’ She started with “Darling do you still love me after 10 years of marriage?” I followed up with “Why do you never see a wasp having a dump?”
Continue ReadingMy spouse absconded from …
My spouse absconded from me as a result of my impulsion to utilise a synonym reference book upon the entirety of my colloquy
Continue ReadingI’m fed up of my friends …
I’m fed up of my friends laughing at me because I’m unintelligent. Whatever that means.
Continue ReadingI like strangling myself …
I like strangling myself with vegetables whilst looking at paintings I call it the artichoke
Continue Reading3 drunk guys boarded a ta …
3 drunk guys boarded a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk, so he decided to take advantage of them. He started the engine and turned it off again. He told them, “We’ve reached our destination.” The first guy paid him the cab fare, and the second guy said, “Thank you.” The third […]
Continue ReadingA local theatre recently …
A local theatre recently put me in charge of casting. I was soon fired however when the director was taken into hospital with a fishhook through his cheek.
Continue ReadingFree puppetry lesson. The …
Free puppetry lesson. There’s strings attached.
Continue ReadingA bloke down the pub said …
A bloke down the pub said he was once locked up for dismembering someone. So I asked, “You mean sectioned?” “Yes”, he said, “I pulled his arms and legs off.”
Continue ReadingYahoo! is reportedly maki …
Yahoo! is reportedly making a discussion board for underage mums, so they can all meet, talk, and relate to one another. It’s going to be called “Yahoores.”
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