After 20 years of public …
After 20 years of public service, I’ve finally retired. 4 new Michelins on my taxi.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I was walking my dogs thr …
I was walking my dogs through the woods today , when I came across a man tying a rope with a noose to the branch of a tree. ” Everything all right mate ? ” I asked. ” Fine ” , he replied. It’s good we live in such a civilised country.
Continue ReadingI was going to tell a gag …
I was going to tell a gag about the army, but it’s a private joke.
Continue Reading‘a gorilla in the zoo lea …
‘a gorilla in the zoo learns how to walk like a man’. So now this is NEWS? I mean, big deal, after couple pints most men walk like gorillas without any training or learning.
Continue ReadingJust started work in the …
Just started work in the Army camouflage unit. I think the guys like me. They said I’m blending in wonderfully.
Continue ReadingI saw a shop today that h …
I saw a shop today that had written in big letters over the window Drink Store. I thought, there’s a challenge.
Continue ReadingIsn’t it ironic that the …
Isn’t it ironic that the chances of a fat man pulling a chick are very thin
Continue ReadingThree men, one american, …
Three men, one american, one mexican, and one chinese, were hiking in an unknown mountain. They suddenly discovered a big cave. So they each decided to test its echo. The american man shouted his name: “Tom” The echo replied: “Tom” The mexican man shouted his name: “Carlito” The echo replied: “Carlito” The Chinese man shouted […]
Continue ReadingYesterday, I got sent hom …
Yesterday, I got sent home from my first day at work on a building site for not wearing a mask whilst I was using an angle grinder Today I got sent home for looking like Ronald Reagan. I wish they would make their minds up.
Continue ReadingToday, my history teacher …
Today, my history teacher asked, ‘What the most disgusting history you’ve observed Jimmy?’ Turns out my older brother’s web history wasn’t a suitable answer…
Continue ReadingI removed my wipers from …
I removed my wipers from my car yesterday. Let’s see them give me a parking ticket now.
Continue ReadingIt seems that Honest Abe …
It seems that Honest Abe was a big fan of the rap-rock genre. The question is, when attending a concert, where did Linkin Park?
Continue ReadingThe new arab xbox 360 gam …
The new arab xbox 360 game. Qatar Hero.
Continue ReadingMy wife is annoyed that I …
My wife is annoyed that I keep poking other girls on Facebook. In our bed.
Continue ReadingI was sat next to this mi …
I was sat next to this miserable, unhappy looking bloke on the bus when he said, “One ring to rule them all.” “Is that from Lord of the Rings?” I interrupted. “No,” he replied “it’s a general consensus of women’s domination as a result of marriage.”
Continue Reading