“I want to be a millionai …
“I want to be a millionaire. Just like my dad!” “Wow, your dad’s a millionaire?” “No, but he always wanted to be.”
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Helpful Tip: Avoid Paperc …
Helpful Tip: Avoid Papercuts by using scissors to remove the sharpe edges of paper before use.
Continue ReadingI’ve been selling flour t …
I’ve been selling flour to drug addicts in my Area lately. It’s a great way to make some Dough.
Continue ReadingI waited 40 years for tha …
I waited 40 years for that first kiss. Probably wasn’t best to have it with my mum, at her funeral.
Continue ReadingMy Daughter said she had …
My Daughter said she had to do a study on a meteor shower – The school didnt take kindly to a video of me showering with a Peperami
Continue ReadingI’ve been having a snowba …
I’ve been having a snowball fight with the kids in the park. Wife’s going to hit the roof when she finds her Advocaat gone.
Continue ReadingI hate lazy rattlesnakes …
I hate lazy rattlesnakes because you never know where they are…
Continue ReadingI used to think it was OK …
I used to think it was OK to doubt myself… Now I’m not so sure.
Continue Reading‘Doctor Doctor! I keep se …
‘Doctor Doctor! I keep seeing into the future’ ‘And when did this start?’ ‘Next tuesday afternoon’
Continue ReadingTop tip: add thousands to …
Top tip: add thousands to the value of your house by making wallpaper out of twenty quid notes.
Continue ReadingJust heard the sad news t …
Just heard the sad news that a friend of mine has died after choking on his own vomit. Tragic. How desperate must you be to even consider eating your own vomit?
Continue ReadingI’ve just employed a sing …
I’ve just employed a single mother with dwarfism. Started her off on minimum wage.
Continue ReadingI’m on here so much, I th …
I’m on here so much, I think I’m turning into a sickipaedophile
Continue ReadingAs cooking a microwavable …
As cooking a microwavable meal last night, I looked on the pack as it kindly asked me to leave to stand for 1 minute, Sadly I had to ignore it due to a lack of wheelchair user instructions.
Continue Readingaddicted to my ‘How to lo …
addicted to my ‘How to love a sick dog’ book I can’t put it down.
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