I heard a thud in my gard …
I heard a thud in my garden the other day. He was hunting wabbits.
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If carrots are meant to b …
If carrots are meant to be good for your eyes, Then why are there so many dead rabbits on our roads?
Continue ReadingI got my wife one of thos …
I got my wife one of those books I know she’ll read over and over again. ‘Coping with Memory Loss’.
Continue ReadingMy mum hit me last night. …
My mum hit me last night. It’s great having her as a Black Jack dealer.
Continue ReadingPsychologists say that ch …
Psychologists say that children who bond with their fathers from an early age have less chance of having behavioural problems later in life. I agree. I used to watch the Bond films with my Dad, and it never did me any harm.
Continue ReadingArmadillo: one ‘d’ away f …
Armadillo: one ‘d’ away from being completely inappropriate.
Continue ReadingMy dog jumped in the wash …
My dog jumped in the washing machine yesterday. Don’t worry, at least he died in comfort.
Continue ReadingWhenever I drive very qui …
Whenever I drive very quickly, my girlfriend says “It’s not a race” If it’s not a race, then how was I disqualified?
Continue ReadingCBS: 41% of drivers admit …
CBS: 41% of drivers admit to having fallen asleep at some point Either people are lying or 59% of drivers are insomniacs
Continue ReadingMy garden is only 36 inch …
My garden is only 36 inches wide, More like a yard
Continue ReadingI am addicted. I bought t …
I am addicted. I bought the iPhone, iPad, iTouch… Now iBroke, iHomeless and iRegret.
Continue ReadingHave you seen the new Twi …
Have you seen the new Twitter page for the National Stalking Clinic? I followed them.
Continue ReadingI’ve got three children, …
I’ve got three children, one of each. A boy, a girl and a hairdresser.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a domino …
What do you call a domino thief? Dominic.
Continue ReadingSaw a shoplifter being ar …
Saw a shoplifter being arrested this morning by an albino policeman. I thought to myself, “That’s a fair cop.”
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