Author: qjoq.com

I lost a boy called Simon who I was babysitting for. When his mum came home she asked, “Where’s Si gone?” “Vietnam,” I said, tongue in cheek. I realise now that there is a time and place for geography puns.

I’ve noticed my teenage daughter has been rolling her skirt up in a bid to get attention from the boys at school. They’ve noticed alright. But only coz she’s been using her knickers as a roach.

Dear me, I should really stop writing letters to myself…

I steal human organs from corpses and distribute them on the black market. My de-livery service is impeccable, although many are also disheartened.

I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching recently. James Brown’s name seems to pop up a lot.

I was throwing a piece of cake out for the birds earlier and it came back and smacked me in the face! It must have been a boomeringue!