For years, I tried to get …
For years, I tried to get my son to tuck in his shirts, and failed. So in the end, I sewed an edge of lace all around the bottom of his shirts.
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I was very pleased earlie …
I was very pleased earlier when I finally opened the box with my new blow up doll in…. She looked so surprised to see me.
Continue ReadingYou think after 6 series …
You think after 6 series they would have discovered what the X-factor is, to be honest i just keep watching to see if they ever find it.
Continue ReadingInvisible Calculators – I …
Invisible Calculators – I can’t see them working out
Continue ReadingWaiter! There’s a fly in …
Waiter! There’s a fly in my soup. Oh, this won’t be long, sir. You see the spider on the plate’s edge?
Continue ReadingA rabbit is sitting in th …
A rabbit is sitting in the forest on a tree stump punching at the keys of a laptop. A fox walks past, stops and asks: “What are you writing?” “A scientific study of how rabbits eat foxes,” says the rabbit. “Whaaat?” says the fox. “You’re crazy.” “Come with me,” says the rabbit. “I’ll show you […]
Continue ReadingTEACHER: Harold, what do …
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher.
Continue ReadingA guy tried to sell me 5 …
A guy tried to sell me 5 legs of venison for 100. I told him it was too much doe.
Continue Reading“Facebook release new rel …
“Facebook release new relationship statuses” Shame they don’t offer ‘in a violent relationship’
Continue ReadingI was in court the other …
I was in court the other day about divorcing my wife. When the judge asked why i wanted to get a divorce, apparently “I bought a dishwasher” wasn’t good enough.
Continue ReadingOut hunting pheasant yest …
Out hunting pheasant yesterday but only managed to shoot a blackbird. Her name was Latoya, according to her driving licence
Continue ReadingDid you know, if you had …
Did you know, if you had a room full of monkeys and typewriters, at some point… ..The RSPCA would come and tell you to stop this?
Continue ReadingSave money on a bigger TV …
Save money on a bigger TV by simply moving the couch closer to your existing one.
Continue ReadingI was on a date with this …
I was on a date with this really attractive girl. Well, it wasn’t a date, date. We just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed.
Continue ReadingWhen I was a kid a saw a …
When I was a kid a saw a herd of over 100 elephants. Aah! So many memories
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