I saw a Policeman at the …
I saw a Policeman at the ATM before, he was there for a while. He never did get a statement though.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I read my horoscope this …
I read my horoscope this morning and it said, “You will be lead to believe something on false pretences even though it isn’t true, you must avoid being taken in by it.” So I’m never going to read my horoscope again.
Continue ReadingI’ve just won at cluedo. …
I’ve just won at cluedo. It was HT, in the library, with a joke about suicide.
Continue ReadingJust had a fight with my …
Just had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up, I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clock’s broken and I’m wide awake, so I’m not sure who won.
Continue ReadingDid they ever find out wh …
Did they ever find out who really let the dogs out?
Continue ReadingThere are free things in …
There are free things in life i’ll never understand Spelling and counting
Continue ReadingI phoned up a couple abou …
I phoned up a couple about the reward for their lost cat today. But apparently they’re not offering anything for just the skin.
Continue ReadingWhy are sandwich fillings …
Why are sandwich fillings so thick? Because they’re all in bread.
Continue ReadingI missed Panorama’s progr …
I missed Panorama’s programme on gaming addiction, was too busy playing World of Warcraft.
Continue ReadingI said to my mate, “My ca …
I said to my mate, “My cat can say her own name!” He said, “That’s amazing! What’s she called?” I replied, “Meow.”
Continue ReadingYour mum’s so fat she can …
Your mum’s so fat she can walk through walls. She’s like a wrecking ball.
Continue ReadingMy Grandmother served dur …
My Grandmother served during the second world war. She was a waitress.
Continue ReadingMy wife is always nagging …
My wife is always nagging me to take the bins out. But somehow I’m the weird one when I try and get them on the bus.
Continue ReadingAll these new Televisions …
All these new Televisions are confusing. When I was young,…… High Definition was smoking weed and reading the dictionary.
Continue ReadingI finally managed to get …
I finally managed to get over my Michael Jackson addiction… I just beat it.
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