What is big, white and fu …
What is big, white and full of my juice? My fridge.
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What did one lesbian vamp …
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? “See you next month!”
Continue ReadingI was walking along a str …
I was walking along a street decorated with rows of compact discs, which was no surprise as it was a seedy part of town.
Continue ReadingThe Grand Canyon is just …
The Grand Canyon is just gorges.
Continue ReadingI used to have terrible p …
I used to have terrible problems with rucksacks, couldn’t figure out how to wear them. But I’ve managed to put it all behind me now.
Continue ReadingKeep getting caught speed …
Keep getting caught speeding in 30mph zones. They’re clearly not my forte.
Continue ReadingBBC News: “Man held after …
BBC News: “Man held after fatal dog attack” Aaahhh, did he need a hug?
Continue ReadingI’ve just tried salsa dan …
I’ve just tried salsa dancing,but it’s not for me. My feet were to big to fit in the jar.
Continue ReadingI saw a group of girls ou …
I saw a group of girls out last night wearing pink cowboy hats and matching T shirts. At first I thought it was a hen night but as I got closer I realised it was actually a pig night.
Continue ReadingMy wife said to me that s …
My wife said to me that she wanted a bit more variety to spice up her life. So I told her to add mustard to my next sandwich.
Continue ReadingThe key to life is balanc …
The key to life is balance, especially if you’re on a ledge.
Continue ReadingI was being chased by the …
I was being chased by the police, so I went and purchased a clock. That bought me some time.
Continue ReadingI recently discovered tha …
I recently discovered that the leading cause of nose bleeds in the U.K. is a punch to the face.
Continue ReadingTwo things you should rea …
Two things you should really know about me. Firstly, I am really forgetful.
Continue Reading“Gynaecologist” – A crack …
“Gynaecologist” – A crack investigator.
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