I have just told iTunes t …
I have just told iTunes that I’ve read and agreed to their Terms Of Service when I actually haven’t! I’ve never felt more alive!!
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I just saw some guys in w …
I just saw some guys in white robes and hoods hanging B.A. Baracus. I love it when a klan comes together.
Continue ReadingTests have shown that dea …
Tests have shown that dead skin can be used for skinning up a joint. Bob Marley must be rolling in his grave.
Continue ReadingI have always told my chi …
I have always told my children not to marry for money; you can borrow it more cheaply.
Continue ReadingBBC News: ‘New Mini-Speci …
BBC News: ‘New Mini-Species of Tiger discovered!’ So just a cat, then?
Continue ReadingHow many Highway Maintena …
How many Highway Maintenance men does it take to fill in a pothole? I guess we will never know
Continue ReadingDefinition of a computer …
Definition of a computer virus: They replicate quickly. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system […]
Continue ReadingMy mate told me he wanted …
My mate told me he wanted to post an item to Beijing. I said ‘Courier?’ He said ‘No, it’s in China’
Continue ReadingMy jokes are a lot like m …
My jokes are a lot like my internet browsing history. Disturbing, immature and often deleted before i can see them again
Continue ReadingAre Rock Cakes Stone Bake …
Are Rock Cakes Stone Baked?.
Continue ReadingI used to think I was a s …
I used to think I was a small french town, but now I’m not Sochaux.
Continue ReadingScousers take everything …
Scousers take everything seriously. No seriously, they take everything.
Continue ReadingMy mate just rung me and …
My mate just rung me and said, “Is anything going on tonight?” I said, “Yes. Street lights.”
Continue ReadingI turned up at a fancy dr …
I turned up at a fancy dress party dressed as a football. I was immediately kicked out
Continue ReadingI wish I was 14 again, wh …
I wish I was 14 again, when I’d leave school with maybe homework and a detention Now when I go near schools, I leave with an erection and a court date.
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