Saw a woman in a short mi …
Saw a woman in a short mini-skirt and tight top getting into a car today. On the back was a sign that read “Think Bike”. I thought to myself…. I’m way ahead of you.
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My wife thinks my methods …
My wife thinks my methods for punishing the children are ” cruel and archaic”. She need’s to be careful, or she’ll be next on the Ducking Stool.
Continue ReadingI was going through my co …
I was going through my couch looking for stuff the other day, and I scored huge. I found a bed!
Continue ReadingSwitzerland Vs Spain grea …
Switzerland Vs Spain great game for the neutrals.
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between being neatly dressed on a bicycle and poorly dressed on tricycle. A tire.
Continue ReadingDoes an Alpha male Beta w …
Does an Alpha male Beta woman?
Continue ReadingLast month President Obam …
Last month President Obama made a televised speech from a high school in Arlington, VA, in which he said: “Every single one of you has something that you’re good at […] And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is”. Mr Obama was right, as most of us discovered at the age […]
Continue ReadingMy mate is an idiot. He s …
My mate is an idiot. He sent me a text the other day: “So malia for a last minute lads holiday?” I replied: “YES!” Just touched down in Somalia…
Continue ReadingMy mate swallowed his pho …
My mate swallowed his phone and got it stuck in his throat, I had to ring his neck.
Continue ReadingMy son really wants a pup …
My son really wants a puppy and im starting to see the upside, I hate animals but i suppose it does give me something to eat in case of an apocalypse.
Continue ReadingI Love Weed, Hoes, And Ge …
I Love Weed, Hoes, And Getting Dirty With My Grandad. So I Help Him With The Gardening.
Continue ReadingAnyone else find it funny …
Anyone else find it funny that on Facebook’s FarmVille all the lonely sheep are black!
Continue ReadingI decided to cancel my Tw …
I decided to cancel my Twitter account. I don’t want to sound paranoid, but I’m pretty sure people are following me!
Continue ReadingMy wife never trust me wi …
My wife never trust me with anything, especially when it comes to the kids, so I was surprised this morning when she asked me to drop them off at the nursery. I thought they looked really nice next to the potted plants and the baby conifers.
Continue ReadingA 30 year old woman was a …
A 30 year old woman was arrested and charged recently with stealing between 50,000 and 150,000 from her 72 year old aunt who suffers from dementia. I could never do such a thing. There’s just no history of dementia in my family.
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