I was sat in A & E when a …
I was sat in A & E when a woman stumbled in with an open, dripping wound. Never again, do I want to see Katie Price with no knickers on.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I’ve never met my Dad. Mu …
I’ve never met my Dad. Mum told me he died 2 years before I was born.
Continue Reading“Sunshine came softly thr …
“Sunshine came softly through my… Window today” Luckily I was out. My whole family got vapourised.
Continue ReadingJust cleaned the garage w …
Just cleaned the garage with my girlfriend. She was hard to pick up and her hair is now full of oil, but she made a smashing broom.
Continue ReadingMy mate give me this weir …
My mate give me this weird pen the other day. I started writing before a gang of people, a dog and a van popped out the end of it. I was so confused. Must’ve been mystery ink.
Continue ReadingI visited a fast food joi …
I visited a fast food joint in Korea. The Burgers were ok, but the hot dogs were a bit strange.
Continue ReadingReal interview taken from …
Real interview taken from the news:- Copper: “The suspect has been shot and is receiving treatment” Reporter: “Is he still armed?”
Continue ReadingCan’t wait to tell my gir …
Can’t wait to tell my girlfriend that despite what she keeps telling me, it turns out I can do more than one thing at a time. One was blonde and the other a brunette.
Continue ReadingI’ve just done my bit for …
I’ve just done my bit for water aids “Big dig” appeal. I punched my wife in the face.
Continue ReadingI’m still a virgin by cho …
I’m still a virgin by choice, so I can play World of Warcraft.
Continue ReadingThe doctor asked if he co …
The doctor asked if he could examine my metacarpal shaft the other day. I showed him the back of my hand.
Continue ReadingAhh if only i had a penny …
Ahh if only i had a penny for everytime people told me to not take things so seriously. I’d have 17p
Continue ReadingI just bought a Hawaiian …
I just bought a Hawaiian shirt. It is covered in pictures of ham and pineapples
Continue ReadingI was playing with my Wii …
I was playing with my Wii earlier. I wouldn’t recommend it. My hands smelt of urine.
Continue ReadingMy friends say I try too …
My friends say I try too hard to keep up with the times. It’s not my fault the papergirl has a bike.
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