What do you call a Calf a …
What do you call a Calf after its six months old? Seven months old.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Just found a recent quote …
Just found a recent quote from Gareth Barry, “The management are doing well to keep us away from the media.” He said this on Sky Sports News by the way.
Continue ReadingI saw a drunken German Am …
I saw a drunken German Amy Winehouse impersonator collapse in the street today. I asked her if I should call someone. She said “nein, nein, nein”
Continue ReadingI was unable to get on an …
I was unable to get on and submit for 5 hours today, due to the crash. My wife was declared dead a short while ago, but at least the car’s drivable.
Continue ReadingI’m fed up with my boss f …
I’m fed up with my boss for forcing me to stand on one leg every single day. Tomorrow I’m putting my foot down.
Continue ReadingHOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN… …
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN… compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of […]
Continue ReadingI woke up this morning an …
I woke up this morning and put mascara on my head, wasn’t happy with that so I put lipstick on my head, still wasn’t happy with that. I really couldn’t make up my mind
Continue ReadingEven though my boss told …
Even though my boss told me “Don’t lose heart”, I realise that I have. Which is bad, considering that I’m an organ donor courier.
Continue ReadingMaths exam question David …
Maths exam question David, John and Steven have twenty coins. They decide to share them out between them. David has two coins, John has two coins and Steven has sixteen. Which one is the Jew?
Continue ReadingI used to work in a shop …
I used to work in a shop that sold mirrors, but unfortunately the quality of the products began to decline. Eventually I just couldn’t see myself working there any more.
Continue ReadingMy wife left me because o …
My wife left me because of my obsession with helium balloons.. I let her go.
Continue ReadingHere’s one for all the Fr …
Here’s one for all the French folk on here: ‘Un’
Continue ReadingMy wife gets infuriated w …
My wife gets infuriated with me because I can never remember old phrases. I just think she’s got a potato on her neck.
Continue ReadingNext week i’m going to It …
Next week i’m going to Italy for 3 months. I’m not sure whereabouts though. Probably just Turin about.
Continue ReadingA friend of mine built an …
A friend of mine built an extension for my castle. It was awful, but it’s the fort that counts…
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