Once you’ve got past my c …
Once you’ve got past my charm, good looks, intelligence and my sense of humour, I think it’s my modesty that stands out.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
SKY NEWS “Church Worker S …
SKY NEWS “Church Worker Stabbed At Anti-Crime Event ” Carlsberg don’t do irony…
Continue ReadingStudy: Half of all senio …
Study: Half of all seniors now use the internet. I read that when my gran sent the entire story to me in the subject line of an email.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend has just le …
My girlfriend has just left me because of all the philosophical theories I believe. Like I care. She doesn’t exist anyway.
Continue ReadingVery interesting thing, t …
Very interesting thing, the paranormal. I have a book on it. I didn’t buy it, it just turned up in my room one day.
Continue ReadingI’m seeing a therapist to …
I’m seeing a therapist to help with my kleptomania, and I have taken something valuable away from every session.
Continue ReadingI spelt ‘cripple’ using o …
I spelt ‘cripple’ using one P while playing a game of scrabble last night. Apparently it’s an invalid word.
Continue ReadingI have just bought a new …
I have just bought a new box of Crayolas, and it includes both ‘Burnt Sienna’ and ‘Raw Sienna’. They really need to figure out how to cook Sienna.
Continue ReadingMy wife was looking throu …
My wife was looking through the H.Samuel brochure, pointed at it and said, “Wow, I’d really love this for my birthday.” She’s going to be so made up. I went one step better and got her the hard back catalogue.
Continue ReadingWent to bingo tonight. Go …
Went to bingo tonight. Got two fat ladies. Worst threesome … ever.
Continue ReadingOnce you go black you nev …
Once you go black you never go back… No, seriously: if you go to a black man’s house, you’re never getting out.
Continue ReadingI was really disappointed …
I was really disappointed after my wife gave me head on my birthday. I actually wanted a Slazenger tennis racket.
Continue ReadingI’ve been sacked from my …
I’ve been sacked from my job as a lifeguard. Whilst using the cripple-crane to hoist a handicapped girl into the pool, and her helper saying; ‘Mind her head on the side..’ Replying with; ‘It’s not really going to make much difference though, is it? Is considered somewhat unprofessional.
Continue ReadingThe wife just said to me, …
The wife just said to me, “Why is it that you always want to do the bare minimum?” “Do you want me to answer that?” I replied.
Continue ReadingWhats the difference betw …
Whats the difference between Sickipedia and Gina Wilde? Gina can handle more than 700 members on her at one time.
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