Scientists have discovere …
Scientists have discovered the smallest unit of measurement for personality. It’s called a ‘Miliband’.
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Women around the world ar …
Women around the world are waking up to the dangers of Rohypnol.
Continue ReadingWhat has paracetamol’s an …
What has paracetamol’s and the knife that I stabbed my wife with have in common? They both kill pains.
Continue ReadingA great simile is like a …
A great simile is like a magnificent racing horse: this isn’t one.
Continue ReadingScrew these cartoons, I k …
Screw these cartoons, I know a much more effective way to stop child abuse, hand out baseball bats to children.
Continue ReadingMy little brother got cau …
My little brother got caught stealing a sandwich from Tesco. I took the wrap.
Continue ReadingI saw a bath on display s …
I saw a bath on display stood upright in B&Q. I thought to myself “That idea will never catch on.”
Continue ReadingMy mate asked me what my …
My mate asked me what my worst ever injury was. I replied, “He was quite bad in 1982 when I saw him with the Blockheads”.
Continue ReadingI went into an internet c …
I went into an internet chatroom for people who like animals last night. I was pretending to be a horse. I got chatting to a really nice guy, but after about half an hour I realised he was grooming me.
Continue ReadingWhenever somebody asks me …
Whenever somebody asks me what I do for a living, I tell them I work in P.R. Fortunately for me, they usually change the subject before I finish spelling out I.M.A.R.K.
Continue ReadingWhy did Nivea Cream? Beca …
Why did Nivea Cream? Because Max Factor.
Continue ReadingCan someone tell me where …
Can someone tell me where you get a 1080p TV from? Even in Aldi they are more than double that round here.
Continue ReadingI used to get a lot of su …
I used to get a lot of sun stroke… Until my Dad died.
Continue ReadingMy doctor just sat me dow …
My doctor just sat me down and told me I was paraplegic. I could really use a pick me up.
Continue ReadingSeptember 11 was the resu …
September 11 was the result the worst computer virus ever seen. Ive never seen a crash of windows like it.
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