I saw a guy sneakily copy …
I saw a guy sneakily copying my answers in the exam I took yesterday. Joke’s on him though, I didn’t study either.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I saw my daughter about t …
I saw my daughter about to go out. She was wearing little more than a training bra and a miniskirt, so I said to her, “Louise, I can’t let you go out dressed like that.” “Why not?” she asked. Knowing that she could be very naive, it was hard for me to say anything but, […]
Continue ReadingMy gran’s Alzheimer’s is …
My gran’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse. The weird thing is, she can remember what happened twenty years ago but she can’t remember what happened ten minutes ago! If she lives another twenty years I’m so busted.
Continue ReadingA man walks into a lawyer …
A man walks into a lawyer’s office and asks, “How much would it be to ask you three questions?” The attorney answered, “$500.” “Holy cow!” the man replied, “That’s a bit steep, isn’t it?” “No.” said the attorney. “What’s your third question?”
Continue Readingwhat do you call a female …
what do you call a female police officer? A stripper
Continue ReadingI turned my phone onto ‘A …
I turned my phone onto ‘Airplaine mode’ and threw it up into the air…. Worst transformer ever!
Continue ReadingMy wife is getting hen-pe …
My wife is getting hen-pecked. I keep her locked in the chicken coup
Continue ReadingI got A friend request on …
I got A friend request on a forum by username ”Doyoulovemen69” Didn’t know what to do because my options were ‘confirm’ and ‘not now’.
Continue ReadingI’ve decided to give beek …
I’ve decided to give beekeeping a try. Just for the buzz.
Continue ReadingI hate it when the milkma …
I hate it when the milkman comes late. It makes my jaw ache.
Continue ReadingMy surname is Double-barr …
My surname is Double-barrelled, My name is John Double-barrelled
Continue ReadingI tried to cook an octopu …
I tried to cook an octopus last night … after eight hours I gave up … It just kept on switching the gas off
Continue ReadingCritics said my career as …
Critics said my career as a comedian was over. “That’s just your oPUNion”, I quipped. They were right.
Continue Reading“See ya. Look after yours …
“See ya. Look after yourself” seems like a nice thing to say….. ……unless it’s the last thing you say when you quit as a care worker.
Continue ReadingI volunteered to do a sti …
I volunteered to do a stint in a soup kitchen. At closing time, they get quite resentful when you say, “Come on, some of us have got homes to go to.”
Continue Reading