I have a confession. For most of my childhood, I was under the impression that one of the most exciting, fun filled, action packed professions in the world was being a plumber. Now, that I’ve picked it as a career choice, I see the mistake I’ve made. Thanks for ruining my life, Mario.
Continue ReadingI just recieved an email: “Jack, Black Friday is coming to The Bookshop! Be ready!” Trust The Bookshop to hire Robinson Crusoe rejects.
Continue ReadingI love Twilight. 2 to get some fake teeth. And then I can convince young girls to come into the forest with me, with a piggyback ride.
Continue ReadingI was telling my friend yesterday how I found Mt. Everest in my back garden. He thinks im making a mountain out of a mole hill.
Continue ReadingTeachers eh? What do they know.. I much prefer a single malt.
Continue ReadingIf we’re not supposed to have late night snacks.. why is there a light in the fridge?
Continue ReadingI was fired from my job yesterday after a slip of the tongue during a one on one meeting. It turns out my female boss wasnt coming on to me after all.
Continue ReadingI had an argument with my dentist about the rinsing of my dentures. But we’ve managed to sort things out. It’s water under the bridge.
Continue ReadingSo Mark Zuckerberg has got married to Priscilla Chan When asked why she consented to marry him Precilla said “I can think of 106 billion reasons”
Continue ReadingJust seen a Facebook group called “To see the funniest thing ever hold down alt + F4!” Jokes on them, it doesn’t work! Just closes the webpage…
Continue ReadingFirefox private browsing mode…. ….saving relationships since June 2009
Continue ReadingSay NO to racism. Or just dont get in the taxi in the first place.
Continue ReadingBBC News: Wear something visible at night. Ah man! I was gonna wear my invisibility cloak.
Continue ReadingThe definition of irony: Choking on a lozenge.
Continue ReadingMy wife has left me because she thinks that I am both racist and childish. I don’t get her problem, I AM the White Power ranger after all.
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