Whats the difference betw …
Whats the difference between a catholic preist and Gary Glitter? At least Gazza will use a condom.
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My wife approached me tod …
My wife approached me today and said, “I’m leaving you” I replied, “Actually, you are approaching me”
Continue ReadingWith Sickipedia’s new sco …
With Sickipedia’s new scoring system you’ve got to think – what’s the point?
Continue ReadingBBC News: Police arrest E …
BBC News: Police arrest ETA chief. No one knows when he’ll get to court
Continue ReadingTodays game of heads down …
Todays game of heads down thumbs up begins at the sound of my zipper.
Continue Reading“I sometimes hold back a …
“I sometimes hold back a fart incase it’s actually a poo.” I said to the man talking to me. “Sorry, Jon” said the interviewer, “I’m afraid you don’t qualify for danger pay.”
Continue ReadingDogs are tough. I’ve bee …
Dogs are tough. I’ve been interrogating this one for hours and he still won’t tell me who is a good boy.
Continue ReadingDon’t bother entering the …
Don’t bother entering the Repair Man of the Year award.. It’s fixed..
Continue ReadingYour Mom’s so black, she …
Your Mom’s so black, she went to night school and got marked absent
Continue ReadingI took a girl home from a …
I took a girl home from a club last night. As soon as we got inside the front door she was all over me like a rash, kissing me all over and rubbing her hands over my body. Leaning her mouth to my ear I could feel her hot breath as she whispered, “Time to […]
Continue ReadingNewton’s law of motion… …
Newton’s law of motion… by Hooke or by crook?
Continue ReadingI’ve been up all night an …
I’ve been up all night answering questions about resistors. My Physics teacher always sets too much Ohm work.
Continue ReadingI’ve just finished knocki …
I’ve just finished knocking my lounge into the spare bedroom to make a bigger living area. It looks huge, by far the tallest room in the house.
Continue ReadingMy boss called me into th …
My boss called me into the office today and said, “It has come to my attention that you are taking performance enhancing drugs.” “Yes I have,” I replied, “does this mean I’m fired?” “No I just wanted to say keep up the good work.”
Continue ReadingMy mate asked me what my …
My mate asked me what my best pickup line was? I replied ”Cocaine”
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