Spent most of this week p …
Spent most of this week planting crops. The jockeys are furious.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
You know, a lot of jokes …
You know, a lot of jokes on this site can cause real offence. It’s just not funny. It’s hilarious.
Continue ReadingI just phoned to see if m …
I just phoned to see if my poor old mum had got home alright from shopping, after today’s torrential downpour. My dad answered and said, “Yes, she’s just come in absolutely drenched, shall I put her on the line?” I said, “No, let her dry out by the fire.”
Continue ReadingMy friends obsession with …
My friends obsession with his new courier job is getting out of hand. When he told me he’d got a job today delivering a parcel from London to Newcastle for only 20 quid I said to him, “You’re taking this too far.”
Continue ReadingWhat did the Rolex say to …
What did the Rolex say to the sun-dial? “How’s it going old timer?”
Continue ReadingAll of the main UK party …
All of the main UK party leaders have congratulated Libya on deposing their long-standing undemocratic dictatorial regime. They added that there would be no referendum on the EU and anyone who wants one is an uneducated racist.
Continue ReadingTeenage boys. The waistba …
Teenage boys. The waistband of your boxer shorts makes an ideal hiding place to conceal any unwanted hard-ons.
Continue ReadingEating at this new Hitler …
Eating at this new Hitler-themed breakfast place, Luftwaffles.
Continue ReadingI saw a sign on my way in …
I saw a sign on my way into a pub last night: “NO CAPS”. Somewhat of a contradiction…
Continue ReadingI tried a new restaurant …
I tried a new restaurant last night, the owner is half Korean and half French. I had dogs legs.
Continue ReadingWhat is a prisoner’s favo …
What is a prisoner’s favourite dessert? Anything, as long as it’s custody.
Continue Readingim going to stand up agai …
im going to stand up against the teachers in our school, lets just say its going to go down in history
Continue ReadingIN THE NEWS Snooker ace …
IN THE NEWS Snooker ace arested on murder charges! I think somones trying to frame him
Continue ReadingI’ve just developed the s …
I’ve just developed the superpower to turn invisible when no one is looking at me.
Continue ReadingMy obese wife failed to l …
My obese wife failed to lose any weight on her latest diet and now I’ve left her. She’s a loser all round.
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