There is something strang …
There is something strangely ironic about the “Bradford English Dictionary”.
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There are a few hoodies i …
There are a few hoodies in my wardrobe. I’ll let them out when they give me my phone back.
Continue ReadingI hate having to fill in …
I hate having to fill in the ‘Hobbies’ section on my CV. It makes me sound like a 12 year old boy. I think it’s stopping me getting a job. “What would you describe as your hobbies and interests?” Football Movies 12 year old girls
Continue ReadingThe Slinky: Crushing the …
The Slinky: Crushing the happiness of children living in bungalows since 1945.
Continue ReadingWhy were two astronauts c …
Why were two astronauts complaining after coming out of a bar on the moon? Because there was no atmosphere..
Continue ReadingMy wife call’s me “Sleepy …
My wife call’s me “Sleepyhead” I’m not tired, I’m impotent.
Continue ReadingI wonder how long it will …
I wonder how long it will be until Tramps accept Chip n Pin.
Continue ReadingMy son told me he wants t …
My son told me he wants to become a household name. That’s why I now call him ‘Fairy’.
Continue ReadingA fella came to the bar a …
A fella came to the bar and said,” I fancy a large gin and Schweppes, but I don’t want to get drunk.” I said, ” I’ve got just the tonic.”
Continue ReadingPlosive Consonants, Bug m …
Plosive Consonants, Bug me Big Time
Continue ReadingIt’s hard to say how much …
It’s hard to say how much I love my family. That’s throat cancer for you.
Continue ReadingAfter having an STI test …
After having an STI test i was gutted and decided to speak to my wife it wasn’t easy but she had to know, she’d find out sooner or later she went mental, trading in the galaxy for a subaru was a bad idea i guess.
Continue ReadingThe wife said, “Say one m …
The wife said, “Say one more innuendo and I’m leaving you!” “What, even a little slip up?”
Continue ReadingIf people say you have a …
If people say you have a bubbly personality, chances are you’re ugly
Continue ReadingMy mate said to me: Can y …
My mate said to me: Can you tell me what you call someone who comes from Corsica? I said: Cors-i-can
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