Just before Christmas las …
Just before Christmas last year my gran was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, it was terrible news to get just before the festive season, but on the plus side I’ve got her the same present this year.
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BBC News: “Egypt presiden …
BBC News: “Egypt president dismisses cabinet” Some people just have no ikea for style.
Continue ReadingA boy was walking down th …
A boy was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. “Grandpa what are you doing?” he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. “Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here […]
Continue ReadingTelling a woman you work …
Telling a woman you work in IT Support can be such a turn off. And then a turn on again.
Continue ReadingI watched Amy Winehouse’s …
I watched Amy Winehouse’s last concert on YouTube. She was like a double-amputee pirate stuck on land: legless and missing the high seas.
Continue ReadingI read in men’s health, t …
I read in men’s health, that the most important thing to do when doing a workout programme is rest…Ive done that for 2 years now and I am still no fitter than before!
Continue ReadingJust had an African come …
Just had an African come up and try to get me to sign a charity sheet – when I said no he started to cry… …what an emotional black male.
Continue ReadingI always hear that childr …
I always hear that children are dressing inappropriately these days but my neighbour’s kid is still dressing perfectly, With the curtains open.
Continue ReadingI can’t remember the firs …
I can’t remember the first time i got completely drunk.
Continue ReadingI ordered “The girls of R …
I ordered “The girls of Ryanair” 2010 cabin crew calendar today. It was advertised on the Ryanair website for a tenner, but after adding the hidden ‘leap year tax’, selecting the ‘in colour’ option, and paying online using a credit card, it ended up costing me almost 150 quid.
Continue ReadingEven with barbecue sauce, …
Even with barbecue sauce, this barbecue tastes terrible.
Continue ReadingWho performed the world’s …
Who performed the world’s first emergency c-section? Moses.
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between Iceland food and Iceland customers? Some of the food isn’t battered.
Continue ReadingSlow Responding Computers …
Slow Responding Computers, Breaking up marriages since 1997.
Continue ReadingI’m gutted I got kicked o …
I’m gutted I got kicked out of my local cinema for taking my own food. It’s been ages since I had a BBQ.
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