In Diana Vickers’ debut s …
In Diana Vickers’ debut single she says “I’m only going to let you kill me once.” Someone needs to follow that up before someone explains to her the in and outs of life and death.
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My computer keeps crashin …
My computer keeps crashing. Must be the driver.
Continue ReadingI’ve been promising my bo …
I’ve been promising my bosses at top shop a new range of leg garments that would turn over millions, but after failing to finish the product in the 2 month deadline set, they finally fired me, guess I was all talk, no trousers.
Continue ReadingThe West Bank. The favour …
The West Bank. The favourite holiday destination of Reverend Spooner.
Continue ReadingThe lift was broken so I …
The lift was broken so I took the stairs …..that’ll teach ’em
Continue ReadingMy friend showed me the f …
My friend showed me the fish at the bottom of his garden. One of them fluttered its eyelashes at me, then quickly swum away. I think it was a little coy.
Continue ReadingNo bandwagons, libelous s …
No bandwagons, libelous statements, correct spelling, search for keywords (which doesn’t come up with anything but it still gets removed as a dupe when it scores high enough) and nothing too sick. It’s easier to post a letter than a joke on here.
Continue ReadingArgos. It’s like an offl …
Argos. It’s like an offline version of internet shopping.
Continue ReadingI’d like to thank all the …
I’d like to thank all the women on facebook for posting on their status where they like to keep their handbags in a pathetic attempt to try and sound dirty by saying “I like it on the kitchen table”. It really made my day. Its saved me a fortune on batteries not having to use […]
Continue ReadingI found myself at the top …
I found myself at the top of a Mosque and thought, “Hold on a minaret …”
Continue ReadingCan’t stand lying down. …
Can’t stand lying down.
Continue ReadingIf a shrink retires does …
If a shrink retires does that make him a shrunk?
Continue ReadingMy friends making loads o …
My friends making loads of money after he developed a toilet that automatically flushes. Personally a think the whole thing is just a splash in the pan.
Continue ReadingYour mum is so slow that …
Your mum is so slow that her de broglie wavelength is observable on Macroscopic scales.
Continue ReadingThe definition of irony H …
The definition of irony Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia – Fear of long words.
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