You know youre a geek whe …
You know youre a geek when you look at a CD cover and think, “I have that font.”
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I love putting hyenas in …
I love putting hyenas in old beer kegs. It’s a barrel of laughs.
Continue ReadingI went in the chemist the …
I went in the chemist the other day and asked the girl for a packet of Pyrex. ” Dont you mean Durex ?” she said….” no I’ve got some hot stuff waiting in the car”
Continue ReadingI pulled a sicki the othe …
I pulled a sicki the other day…. …Yeah, that stand up comedy night was a real ice-breaker
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend just called …
My girlfriend just called me a sore loser I nearly threw my controller at the game over screen
Continue ReadingJust heard a message over …
Just heard a message over the tannoy on the train saying leaving my personal belongings will end up with them being taking and destroyed. So, I am going to kidnap Bono and stuff him in a bag and leave it on a train. Fingers crossed!
Continue ReadingOne morning, Harry wakes …
One morning, Harry wakes up and goes downstairs into the kitchen. It’s his birthday. It’s the third day of the third month and Harry is thirty three years old. He notices that the kitchen clock has broken and stopped at 3:30am. On the radio, the weather announces that the temperature is 33 degrees. Opening the […]
Continue ReadingI got a new phone today. …
I got a new phone today. It’s got less battery life than a KFC chicken.
Continue ReadingThis random woman keeps h …
This random woman keeps having a go at me for my ‘obsession’ with biblical figures. What a weirdo. I don’t even Noah.
Continue ReadingMy commanding officer wen …
My commanding officer went mental at me for not “standing properly” on parade. What an attention seeker.
Continue ReadingI never got the chance to …
I never got the chance to say goodbye to my wife and children. I won the lottery and jumped straight on a plane to Vegas.
Continue ReadingI just dont understand, w …
I just dont understand, when i put an ad in the newspaper about meeting hot, single girls in my area, theres absolutely no reply. But as soon as i go online, there’s absolutely hundreds that are ready for me to meet them? I just dont get it.
Continue ReadingI knocked on the door of …
I knocked on the door of the Dragons Den TV studio earlier. They were out.
Continue ReadingI’ve just bought a new fr …
I’ve just bought a new fridge that chills to absolute zero. How cool is that?
Continue ReadingHablan Thats sounds like …
Hablan Thats sounds like A Plan
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